I never forget that I’m a mom.
I don’t always think about it, but I never forget.
Even though I have a career I love, if I run into someone I haven’t seen in a while and they ask what I’m up to the first thing out of my mouth is “being a mom.”
With all the busy-ness of being-a-mom, it can be easy to forget how miraculous it is that I am one.
When I was growing up, I never dreamed of a white wedding and I didn’t think this was unusual. But when I finally did get married, my girlfriends all admitted to their childhood dreams of weddings. I had to think back and realized that in place of dreams of weddings was a dream of motherhood. And every time I fell in love, I didn’t daydream about my life with this partner, I dreamt of his conversations with our child. It was never a partner for which I longed, it was a child.
And, here I am, with a child. A grown-up. With a child.
And it wasn’t until I saw this picture this evening, of my child. My small child with my face staring back at me that I remembered how miraculous it is, how lucky I am, how honored I am to have a child. My dream has come true. Unexpectedly and without warning, I am living a dream
I hope I do her justice because she’s frickin’ awesome.
Awww…that’s a great picture of you two!
Love it. Love the picture too.
What a great picture.
“I hope I do her justice” particularly got to me. I’m always afraid I’m not…
Y’know, I never thought of having children except to swear I wouldn’t. But I’m glad I changed my mind.
From the dictionary:
do justice,
a. to act or treat justly or fairly.
b. to appreciate properly: We must see this play again to do it justice.
c. to acquit in accordance with one’s abilities or potentialities: He finally got a role in which he could do himself justice as an actor.
I say this not as your mother, though I suspect I cannot do it entirely well, after working with hundreds, if not thousands of parents over the years: you are one of the finest. You do indeed do Avi-girl justice: in words and deeds.
Raising a child is an accomplishment noone to my knowledge has yet caught adequately in words – perhaps it will be you — to watch your own child parent a child justly, kindly, with dignity and care is miraculous. I will argue endlessly with those who call me an expert; each of us willing to truly take a child’s being into our hearts and walk with them, not above them or in control, is a just parent and the expert. THe challenge in doing justice to your child is walking beside them in their growth and development understanding that the outcome will be what is right for them, not you.