one of my best girlfriends, C–who at the time was a new colleague–and I used to have an ongoing discussion about “the life to-do list.” this is pretty much what it sounds like: a big list of items, all of which have to be done asap and most of which aren’t. it’s always handwritten or printed out so you get to cross stuff off as you do it, but there are always items being added. they’re usually things like “change oil in car” “write complaint letter to comcast” “look for new shelves at flea market” “write will”. i used to keep mine hanging on the wall above my desk at home, above the pile of papers that someday i was supposed to sort through because all of them are important and meaningful and useful–yes, that was on the list too. oddly enough, i had almost completed the list when my husband and i separated.
that said, i was a little trepidatious about creating the new page, “things to do before i turn 30.” i do love lists, they make me feel like i’m accomplishing things, but they also make me feel pressured. like not wearing clean underwear to the dr. what if she notices? will she say something? will she then realize that i’m a wreck, my life is falling apart, and that i haven’t showered in three days, but keep it to herself out of misplaced sympathy? if the list isn’t done, nothing’s in order. my life is in constant disorder. the world is falling apart! okay, really, i’m not ANAL about it. but if i was, that’s what it would be like.
so, go check out the new page. it’s–surprise surprise–not full of things like “climb mount everest” because i am a little too grounded these days.
by the by–i looked up “trepidatious” at merriam webster because the dictionary didn’t recognize it and, apparently, it’s not a real word.