Archive for the ‘life lesson’ Category

Avi: Mama, do only boys have wifes?

unusually long pause as I consider the best answer. do i use this moment to talk about the right to marriage? legaleeze and politics? or do i provide her the labels and hope that by the time she is grown, this right really will exist no matter where she lives.  i opt for the latter.

Mama: No. When two women love each other, than can get married and call each other wife.  If two men get married, they call each other husband.  When a man and woman marry, they call each other husband and wife.  And then there’s people like me and Dada who aren’t married at all so we don’t have a husband or wife.

Avi: Oh.  (and she laughs.  she finds this last part about J and I funny.)

and then we stop talking and listen to “The Fisherman and his Wife” in silence.  a poor man badgered by his greedy wife who wants everything for nothing.  they end up in a hovel after all.


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What is ‘died’?

In the car.

Mama: I had four cats when I was a little girl! My favorite was Puffy.

Avi: I like Puffy. I want to meet Puffy.

Mama: I’m sorry, honey.  They’re not around anymore; they died when I was a kid.

Avi: What is died?

Mama: Well, animals and people only live for a while.  When they’re done living their life, they die. We say goodbye and tell them we love them.  And I believe, not everyone does, but I believe their spirit turns into a new animal or person. Every animal and person has a spirit.

A couple days later, cuddling in bed.

Avi: I want this…I want this to be always…

Mama: You want to cuddle forever?

Avi: I want this to be forever.  I don’t want us to be spirits.

Mama: Oh, honey, don’t worry.  You have plenty of life ahead of you.  Mama’s not going anywhere.  We won’t be spirits for a long time.

And it was with saying this to my child that I finally believed it myself.

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When I had to seriously restrict my diet which eventually became vegan, I thought at first I would be eating bland food forever.  I quickly learned to replace the taste of animal fat with interesting spices like paprika, garlic, raisins, nuts, ginger, cinnamon, and Marsala.

I make my own bread, so now the taste of store-bought bread is slightly repulsive.  It’s tacky, chewy, and actually kind of bland.

Since I don’t like the taste of soy milk, I started drinking my tea plain, and discovered I like my tea better that way.

I discovered—I guess not surprisingly—that eggs taste just like chicken.


I went to Wendy’s.

Avi and I were out-and-about.  I needed a break from whipping together a meal.  It was cheap.  She loves fries.  I got a salad with mandarin oranges on it, some chopped almonds and fake Asian crispy thingies.  I gave the chicken on top to Avi.  She didn’t eat it.  But we both ate the fries.

My initial bite was slight revulsion.  It tasted pretty gross.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had fast food fries since starting this whole vegan thing, but I usually go for Chick-Fil-A which are cooked in peanut oil and are really yummy.  I have no idea what Wendy’s cooks in but it’s gross.  What was funny, though, was with every fry I ate, they tasted more and more yummy….

It was strange.

And I looked around at the packed restaurant.  At all the people who eat this crap multiple days a week.  And I mourn for their taste buds.  They no longer know how to recognize truly delicious food.  In fact, if I were to place homemade bread in front of them, they’d ask for the butter and jam before even tasting it.  Many of them would decide they don’t like it simply because they are so used to the taste of chemicals and animals fats.  Anything lacking that additive tastes revolting to them…just like chemicals taste revolting to me.

And sometimes I wonder if I should blame fast food for the tummy dilemma I am now in.  Because although I swore off fast food and red meat for most of my life, when I got pregnant it was my best friend.  I craved the fat and salt constantly.  I was commuting an hour each way to work so even though I ate a snack before leaving the office, I would get hungry half way home, just in time to stop at McD’s for fries.  And then when Avi was born, she was a terrible sleeper so I would stick her in the car at lunch time, drive until she fell asleep, go to the Burger King drive through and then park and eat while she slept.  It frequently felt like my only complete meal of the day.

And now, here I am.  With a unexplained leaky gut.  And I can’t help but blame the chemicals and red meat.

The benefit, of course, is that I’m learning to taste again.

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Avi let out the loudest and most pleasing sounding fart that has ever graced her little booty.

She grinned impishly and chirruped, “Burp!”

I said, “Oh, no, honey, that wasn’t a burp.  That was a fart. ”

She started laughing and gleefully announced, “Faaaaaaart!!”

Life Lesson:  Burps are funny, but farts are funnier. 

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A__ spent the day with her dad today.  she’s so in love with him.   my landlord was slamming around next door before he arrived and whenever A__ heard him, she’d look at me and say “Da?!” and we’d have to go look out the door and see if he was there yet.  so freakin’ cute.

she came home, as usual, thoroughly exhausted after a long day of running rampant in his house and cheering on their fav football team (he reported that she likes to put both her arms up in the air with him and shout “yes!”).

but after her bath….things took a turn for the worse:

  • i discovered a huge (okay, tiny really, but her hands are tiny so it totally counts as huge) splinter in her hand.
  • i also discovered food caught between two of her teeth that wouldn’t come out with brushing.  she’s been given the same slightly crooked two bottom teeth that her dad and i both have.  i’m hoping it goes away when she loses her baby teeth.

so, out came the tweezers and out came the floss.

she’s such a champ.

after much twisting of heads and sticking out of tongues and wrapping of floss so tightly around my fingers they were purple, i managed to get it out.  she didn’t even squeak and she obediently faced me when i asked her to and opened her mouth and said “ah.”  i couldn’t blame her for the tongue interceptions.  we all know that tongues have a mind of their own.

then we tackled the splinter.  she yelped for a split second because i had to dig a little.  and then i showed her the splinter and handed over the tweezers for her to investigate.  it was a breeze.

the life lesson: painful events are done with faster if you don’t fight them.

(i seriously wish she would apply this knowledge to diaper changes.) 

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the morning began with a bang, literally: as part of her early morning on-the-bed-roll-and-flop routine, A__ rolled and flopped right off the bed…again.

half an hour later, she launched herself off of a kitchen chair and face planted in the middle of the floor. she’s got a nice strawberry on her left cheek.

about an hour later, she tripped on the drive-way and face planted on the concrete. she’s got a scraped up lump above her left eye.

later that afternoon, she stole the container of cherry tomatoes out of the fridge. while showing it to her dad, her finger got caught in one of the holes in the bottom as he tried to take it from her. it took several screams before we figured out why she was screaming.

the life lesson: you will fall down. a lot. your fingers will get caught in things. a lot. you will yell in sorrow and pain but sometimes you won’t get immediate help because grown-ups can be stupid. and you will survive all this and live to dance through another day.

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yesterday, as i was urging her across the threshold of the mud room so we could go out the back door, she stopped in her tracks and started bouncing up and down in time with the wash machine’s churn cycle. she discovered beauty in what i consider to be a loud, obnoxious but necessary sound of every day living.

add that to the ice cream truck, the car alarm, the church bells, my impatiently tapping foot, and a truck backing up, and while i listen to a cacophonous mess, she listens to a symphony orchestra.

the life lesson: music is every where, if you choose to hear it.

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