There was a time when you flew in circles about the room, flapping your wee wings and laughing in delight.
There was a time when the cries ushering from your mouth were only true tears of sadness or hunger.
A hug, a nurse, a kiss, a tickle, cheered all.
Where have you gone, my little fae? And who is this peskie pixie that has come in your place?
Who screams with a banshie howl, shattering glass with her spoiled desires.
Who refuses to listen to reason and instead throws herself on the ground–a heap of thrashing limbs.
Who screams and screams and screams and screams.
And then screams some more.
Where did she come from and why?
But, of most importance, how do I get you back, child of my heart?
I see glimpses of you as she gasps for a new breath. I see you underneath it as she whimpers, ‘I want a hug.’ But I cannot give in while she is still here. That would make her stronger. Some how I must resist her caterwauling and still find you beneath it all.
I don’t know how to do that.
I miss you, child of my heart. I miss the mama I was to you.
But, most of all, I miss you. My little faery child. I miss you. I hope you find your way home soon.