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Posts Tagged ‘career’

It’s pretty ironic, really, that I have been spending hours online messing with things like websites, social networking, and decoding twitter-speak and it has left me with no time to blog here.  At my first bloggy site of love.  (Can I tell you how much it pleases me that that sentence resembles “love at first sight” and yet frustrates me that I couldn’t edit it to make it a more recognizable pun?)

After declaring, on my thirtieth birthday no less, a year of just me, no DOing, I went and got doing.

I been doing a lot lately.

No, not in the sack.  You all have one track minds.

Here are my latest adventures.  They keep me up late.  I can’t keep my mind off of them.  I am excited beyond belief.  I am terrified to my core:

  • PictureBook Plays has gotten a complete overhaul after its last publisher turn-down.  The task was immense and still ongoing.
  • GAN-e-meed Theatre Projecthas been launched to the online public and is now in the process of a bloggy face-lift.  Next step…press releases. (fine print: we need to raise 32K by April 2010 so please email me and then send me a check)
  • I have been accepted to present a workshop at NAEYC in DC this fall.  Apparently, it’s not easy to get a workshop accepted so this is a huge honor and a big step in my career. 

More anon.

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Dream Lost

I used to be an actress.

A very talented actress.

I got cast in good roles; I got good reviews.

I was young and excited and brave and going places.

But I was unhappy.  I dreaded rehearsals.  I dragged my feet to shows.

Once on stage, I was perfectly fine–indeed, I was glory incarnate.  But, getting there, that was another story.

So, slowly but surely, I left acting behind.  I focused on teaching, on administration, on directing, on producing.  But I still find myself missing being an actress.  I find myself missing what I could have been.

I stare at bios, pictures, and websites of the women and men I know who have continued to live their bohemian actor lives and a knot rises in my chest.

I wish I was that.  I wish I could have been that simply because I was good at it.  I could have been something.  Actually, I was something.  I was talented.  Now, the thought of auditioning leaves me shaking in my boots.

In the darkest, smallest room in my heart, there is a promise to myself that I will act full-time again, when I’m fifty.  I will retire early and go back to the theatre.  And then I will play the great roles.  But, for now, it is a dream lost to life, time, circumstances, and choices.

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